Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Anger
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Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Art
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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Art
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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Business
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Business
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Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Education
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Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Education
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
- Ambrose Bierce - In History
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Intelligence
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Marriage
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Marriage
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Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Marriage
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Nature
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Politics
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Politics
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Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Sports
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Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Success
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Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Technology
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Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Technology
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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
- Ambrose Bierce - In Time
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